The English, known for their elegance and grace with words, have indicated that an earlier reported loss was really a ruse in the following news release:Spoils of War or Spoils of Gore???
Thousands of Russian's in Moscow, the backward hole-of-a-city many Russian's call home, have fallen ill today. The Tsarina held a party on the weekend where the English booty was shown off as part of the Russian 'spoils of war exhibit'. Reports indicate that English intelligence agents had laced the Admiral's sweater and travel mug with smallpox. Russian's, being as backward as they are, are generally more susceptible to biological agents like smallpox. Early reports indicate that the damage done may lead to an early retreat in Scandinavia for Russian forces stationed there; who prior to this incident were hardly holding the line as is. It would seem that Russian forces stationed North of Moscow have been hardest hit - as fucking the guy to the left of you while giving him a 'reach around' is a great way to transmit the disease. In other news the Celtics shit the bed last night.......
In reply to the news release the Italian ambassador to London is reported to have quipped “Seems like the Habsburgs are suffering from a bad case of this self same disease... along with their deformed jaws.”
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