New Pope Appointed

Holy See Now Reports To Holy Roman Emperor

Rome - With the Italian capital, and consequently the Vatican, now within the Empire the Austro-Hungarian government has moved to push for the appointment of a new Pope. It is hoped that the new pontiff will not only help maintain the loyalty of the faithful within Austria-Hungary, but will help prepare those outside the fold to enter into it in the not so distant future. Fresh from his post as Governor of Venice, the new Pope was exuberant in his first address. “Ja ja! I vill pump up da faithful, neuter da sick und hungry, und shepherd da weak girly men.” In one of his first acts the Pope has indicated proselytizing those in the farthest reaches of the world will be a high priority. “I vill immediately dispatch a team of mercenar…, uh, missionaries, ja, to da jungle to convert dat predator monster und make him see da light… of da muzzle of my gun!”