England Throws Down In Iberia

Spain Occupied By Brits, Portugal Next?

Madrid – Citing a possible violation of the territorial integrity of Gibraltar, the British fleet occupied northern Spain and has blockaded the harbours of Portugal, making it clear they intend to stay. “We’ve put up with these French blighters long enough, time to give Froggie the heave hoe and show ‘em who rules the waves!” exhorted one English captain to his mostly Welsh and Scottish crew after settling into harbour. Le Français are not taking the matter lightly either, setting up a resistance movement from their besieged fortress of Lisbon and calling on international assistance and an appeal to the Spanish people. “Our claim to this land is historic and our principles more enticing to the people of Iberia than those of Anglo-imperialism. Liberté, égalité, et vin!” read one communiqué by the French Foreign Ministry. Internationally however there has been no overt support of either nation’s position. When asked which claim his government would likely recognize of the two the Turkish Ambassador to St. Petersburg answered “I do not see how either rightfully can rule Al-Andalus.” On the street Spaniards seemed almost indifferent to the conflict. “Britain, France, it’s all the same bull,” quipped one matador, adding “but at least we don’t have Russian bears charging us down here.”