Germans Liberated!

Contradiction in terms baffles many

Kiel - It what many observers and pundits have called an oxymoron of history, the German Army actually liberated people today with their recapture of the territory of Kiel. Goose-stepping soldiers were greeted by throngs on the streets as Germans celebrated the return of German forces to German soil. The soldiers took it all in stride, although a few clearly looked bewildered. “Ja, it’s strange you know,” said one private in the Kaiser’s Korp. “Vhen you train you learn to burn, pillage, loot, shoot ze dissidents… I mean, ze don’t call zhem jackboots for nothzing! Dis ist all very irregular.” Jubilation over the German gains were somewhat muted however by the fall of Sweden and Denmark to Russia and Britain respectively. Commented one lederhosen wearing Burgermeister, “Zeeing der boys home ist good und all, but let’s hope der English’s help doesn’t comen at such a high price ze next time.”