Copenhagen – The Russian expatriate community fell into mourning this morning on word that the former Tsar of all the Russias has drowned. The government in exile, set up in Iceland to agitate its foes beyond their reach, verified in a statement that the Tsar was secretly being ferried to safety when the vessel he was on apparently capsized. “We are seeking any witnesses that can shed light on what happened.” said an official for the exiled band. With all of his armies gone and the navy proper sunk it is believed the Tsar was making a late getaway on a salvage scow used by the Russian Navy, decked out with some small armaments to give it the appearance of a cruiser or something more fierce than it was. “In the end, all of our vessels proved to be Potemkin, if you follow me.” quipped one former Russian sailor before returning to the street to beg for change. At present there is no word whether a service will be held to commemorate the late Tsar, speculation being that the government in exile may be waiting to see if his body washes ashore in the next few days.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Barge Sinks In The Baltic
Former Tsar of the Russias feared onboard
Copenhagen – The Russian expatriate community fell into mourning this morning on word that the former Tsar of all the Russias has drowned. The government in exile, set up in Iceland to agitate its foes beyond their reach, verified in a statement that the Tsar was secretly being ferried to safety when the vessel he was on apparently capsized. “We are seeking any witnesses that can shed light on what happened.” said an official for the exiled band. With all of his armies gone and the navy proper sunk it is believed the Tsar was making a late getaway on a salvage scow used by the Russian Navy, decked out with some small armaments to give it the appearance of a cruiser or something more fierce than it was. “In the end, all of our vessels proved to be Potemkin, if you follow me.” quipped one former Russian sailor before returning to the street to beg for change. At present there is no word whether a service will be held to commemorate the late Tsar, speculation being that the government in exile may be waiting to see if his body washes ashore in the next few days.
Copenhagen – The Russian expatriate community fell into mourning this morning on word that the former Tsar of all the Russias has drowned. The government in exile, set up in Iceland to agitate its foes beyond their reach, verified in a statement that the Tsar was secretly being ferried to safety when the vessel he was on apparently capsized. “We are seeking any witnesses that can shed light on what happened.” said an official for the exiled band. With all of his armies gone and the navy proper sunk it is believed the Tsar was making a late getaway on a salvage scow used by the Russian Navy, decked out with some small armaments to give it the appearance of a cruiser or something more fierce than it was. “In the end, all of our vessels proved to be Potemkin, if you follow me.” quipped one former Russian sailor before returning to the street to beg for change. At present there is no word whether a service will be held to commemorate the late Tsar, speculation being that the government in exile may be waiting to see if his body washes ashore in the next few days.
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