Italy Occupies Spain

French out-surrender Italians

Madrid – In a bookmaker’s match-up in which it was hugely contested who’d be able to rip the centre out of their tricolour first and wave it around their head, the French have defied the odds to all but abandon the Iberian Peninsula, leaving Italy in possession of Spain. Having entered Spain the previous Spring unopposed, as the French had already fallen back to home territory, there had been some notion that the French might actually contest the Italian incursion, but that notion has now been dispelled.

“Ha, no one gives up before France! Ze think we will make war? Alors, we make crêpes! Take zat you Italian dogs, enjoy your war making while we seduce votre femmes!” exclaimed on French commander, before breaking out into outrageous French laughter.

The Italian troops for their part were clearly mystified by their progress. “This a forward moving, advancing I a think dey a call it, dat takes some a getting a used to.” commented one soldier. Italian military officials have been recalled to Rome to explain the situation to the King, and develop some plan to sustain their armies. “Normally a they a would be prisoners of war by now. We a never thought we’d have to feed them dis long.” said one attaché, on condition of anonymity. “And a get dis, apparently a you can reload a rifle after use a. Had a we known dat a we would have a bought more bulletos.”

To add to the Italian government’s confusion at the newfound state of affairs the small kingdom has also added Trieste to their territory after several gondolas out of Venice strayed into harbour and were subsequently declared to be in possession of the city. “We a tried to a give it a back, but de wouldn’t have a it.” expained one befuddled oarsman. “I a guess we should just stick a to switching sides, it’s a what we do a best.”